No More Binkie

I am a Burton White fan from way back. During my days as a Montessori pre-school directress it was my practice to regularly recommend his book on child development called The First Three Years. I can remember panicking because my son was already 18 months and I felt way behind on fostering the three competencies that White said were set in the first three years- intellectual, social and emotional.

It has been some time since I have been able to witness the development of the intellectual, social and emotional competencies of youngsters under the age of three. Now, as a Grandma of a two-year old, I am continually amazed and thrilled at the opportunity to witness and sometimes participate in the development of these critical competencies in my own granddaughter.

It is easy to watch and even participate in the intellectual and social development of my granddaughter Annalise as I am blessed with the opportunity to spend quality time with her every week - not an easy task within the restraints of a shared custody arrangement managed by my son and his ex-wife. (More on that at a later date.) It is the development of Anna’s emotional competencies that continue to fill me with wonder.

This past weekend my son reported a spontaneous Anna-instigated role play that spoke volumes about how my son is encouraging her emotional growth and the incredible insight of this two-year old. We were all prepared for this weekend to be a difficult one as Daddy was charged with the task of implementing the “no more binkie regime”…we were prepared for difficult sleep time at the least and play time melt downs because of interrupted sleep times.

On Saturday morning, day three of the no-binkie era, Anna was sitting on the stool next her big girl bed and announced she was Daddy. Daddy said “Whom am I?” and Anna replied..”Anna”. My son reports that he crawled into her bed, fully expecting to have a dialogue about binkies. With a pout he pointed to the door of the bedroom the way Anna does when she wakes up and wants to come into the living room with Daddy. Anna cocked her head, shrugged her shoulders and compassionately said “Sorry, no” with no further explanations, exactly like her Daddy. Next he said “ ..sing a song” with a commanding/demanding voice of a two year old. (Singing You Are My Sunshine is part of the nighttime ritual at their house.) My son reported that the sweet little, never before heard, singing voice of Anna singing remembered fragments of the song was enough to bring him to tears. And me too.

The role play ended shortly after that with surprisingly no mention of binkies. Anna gave her Daddy a precious view of how she perceives his compassionate but no nonsense boundary setting. My son’s recounting of this little role play showed me that he is doing a great job at developing all of Anna’s competencies, especially the emotional - which seems very advanced to me, her doting Grandma.